On Observation

Principle- Monitor and interpret observations wisely.

A while ago, I made a post regarding the nature of judgments. 

The brief recap- everyone is judgmental on some level, the slightest level of interaction(essentially, all it takes is one individual perceiving another with any of the five senses) is grounds for a judgment. That being said, it is important to move beyond those initial judgments and gain additional understanding.

Observation has come up in a number of posts thus far, but I've never addressed it directly. Normally, there is simply a short little bit about observation being limited compared to interaction/communication and is an obstacle to leaving the comfort zone, ie "that doesn't 'look' fun or interesting or good, therefore I'm not going to bother with it."

While those above points are true, observation still should play a role in one's quest to understand and accept others. In a sense, ruling observation out completely is impossible, for observation is an extension of perception, and without perception, one cannot interact with others. Even beyond that inseparability, however, there are uses for observation.

Observe for speculation: Simply observing a people or practice will not provide everything there is to know about the subject matter. Nonetheless, by observation, one can identify certain qualities that are staples of aforementioned people/practice. Based on these observations, it is possible to (with respect) engage in discussion with individuals who are different. Having a specific aspect of a person's culture/lifestyle to address to question allows room for discussion. Contrast such a discussion to one where few observations are made and one simply questions the entirety of one's culture/lifestyle/practice. In the former case, one is curious. In the latter, one may be perceived as confrontational.

Observe for safety: Should be a no brainer- Identify potential hazards or other dangers. If a situation appears to be dangerous, then observation alone is likely the better course of gaining understanding(at least for the time being). Please note that, barring certain exceptions, this is not at all to say one should simply perceive a given culture as dangerous and therefore is reason enough to not engage with the given culture. Dangers that are present on a given individual(s) of a culture are not necessarily representative of that culture as a whole, but merely of the person/persons being observed.

Observe for interaction: Watch how individuals of a given culture interact with one another and with outsiders. The idea here is to learn the do's and don'ts of engaging a particular culture. If they react negatively to outsiders, consider the approach, the exchanges, etc. This ties in with both safety and speculation in the sense that one must determine if interacting with said group is dangerous, or if(far more likely) there are customs and guidelines for interacting with the group to ensure both parties are respected.

As always, be sure to be open-minded about observation. Don't make judgments, make theories instead, and be open to change or even discard these theories as more information is obtained. Don't be afraid to move beyond the comfort zone and engage in discussion, either- observation, while a potential source of initial understanding, is just that- potential, and initial. If understanding is sought, it will come from discussion and interaction.

On communication

This post ties in particularly well with the one preceding it; the notion of communicating peacefully with those we fail to accept or understand tends to involve moving beyond the comfort zone. 

Principle- Communicate with others to gain greater understanding.

Communication is key to acceptance because communication provides understanding. Here, understanding does not at all imply a complete, comprehensive knowledge of a given person or lifestyle- in truth, while a goal, that is not necessary for acceptance. Instead, understanding simply means that which is encompassed by the topic at hand. it is this most basic understanding that can pave the way for greater understanding- but even for that basic understanding, effective communication is required.

So in effect, one problem with understanding is communication. Just as people are not willing to accept, they are not willing to understand. Just as they are unwilling to understand, they are unwilling to even communicate in some cases.

This is a separate entity from those who genuinely can’t communicate, on account of missing vocal cords and the like. No, this lack of communication, the kind of lack that stems from a refusal to communicate, rather than the inability, is what needs to be remedied. One can not even agree to disagree, let alone accept, if one refuses to communicate. One cannot realize that there is no true reason for opposition, if one does not communicate- so often mere misunderstandings can be taken for hatred or some other more detrimental force and therefore incite generations of bad blood/unnecessary suffering, all over a nonissue.

The idea here is simply to avoid unnecessary conflicts by communicating clearly and effectively in a non-confrontational manner. Already, there are so many lines that can be drawn that separate people- in the quest for understanding, for acceptance, there is no need to draw more lines simply due to mis- or non- communication.

Think about words and actions. If there are things that cannot be shared, be sure to think about why those things cannot be shared.If the whys tend to be heavily based on observation, one must then weigh those observations- things are not always what they seem. Oftentimes, it's a vicious cycle: a lack of understanding encourages a lack of communication, which leads to a lack of understanding. When refusing to communicate "They're not like us" Is not an acceptable answer.