Pressure, as it Relates to Perception.

             In the previous entry, I spoke briefly on the matter of pressure.

             Pressure is a constant in life, much like change, and the two are quite thoroughly connected. Pressure is capable of driving change, good or bad. People face pressure every day- from advertisements, social situations, work and recreation. Additionally, while these pressures may, for better or worse, encourage a person to change, they may also do the opposite— mandating that one must remain as they are and do things as they have always done.
            Therefore, societal pressures may stand in the way of Acceptance Theory- think of children in school subjected to peer pressure, making fun of less popular children in order to avoid being bullied themselves. Ignorance or limited information may be causes of such pressure. As I’ve mentioned before, differences are neutral things, and more often than not, the fear, disdain, or hatred that arises toward a group of people is rooted in some misinterpreted practice, or  an incorrectly assigned value on their customs or cultures.
            The pressure that arises from ignorance can be interpreted(perception), or perhaps more accurately ‘implemented’ in a number of ways, again, good or bad. There are those who are pressured by their ignorance to learn more- we typically call this curiosity. However, there are others who prefer to use ignorance as an excuse to marginalize the unknown, people who resist the opportunity for change because of the difficulty associated with it. Comments like “Who knows why they do what they do?” come to mind, where a person suggests that further understanding is impossible, or comments like “Well, they’re all just *insert (often derogatory)term here*” suggest a complete understanding is already present.
            Even pressure made with positive intent can have negative effects. If a message is perceived as hostile, it cannot be received by the listener, regardless of what content is to be conveyed. The best intentions may cause conflict, insult or slight, exacerbating the condition, rather than soothing it. Put simply, the ends do not justify the means. In our interactions with one another, it is easy to forget the effect our words and actions have on others, especially if we are focused on how we feel as a result of someone else’s words or actions.Bear in mind that if we hurt others with our words carelessly, or even intentionally because we have been hurt, there can be no healing, nor improvement of conditions. We must be careful with our words and actions in order to minimize misunderstandings. Failure to do so may cause others to assume things that are not true about us, and therefore perpetuate the cycles of intolerance and separation.
            In this way, perception and pressure are intertwined. We pressure because we perceive(a need for change, perhaps), and on the receiving end, our understanding of our own (subconscious)perceptions places us under pressure to alter not the way we see things, visions of the self included(as we should), but the way others see us. The best way to alter perception involves clarification and elaboration, but not necessarily the changing of the self(except perhaps, to a more discerning individual). We must explain and be explained to. We must understand(acknowledge) and be understood(acknowledged). This does not mean that there must be agreement. Part of Acceptance is, as I have said, accepting when others do not agree. Disagreement is no justification for disrespect.

Perception

            Perception, according to Google: “A way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression.”

            Perception plays a large role in our lives.  Perception, related to observation, takes place all the time, whether we are aware of it or not. The translation of the world through one’s personal lens, a lens shaped by other stimuli previously received. Observation, perceptions, stereotypes, judgments- it’s all related.

            When I say that perception occurs regardless of our awareness, I am not speaking only of that which occurs in our sleep. People are often unaware that they have certain perceptions(interpretations) let alone where they come from, and perhaps most importantly, how accurate they are. Perception is powerful. It’s a force so powerful that it can defy reality, at least in the mind.

            Perhaps the most significant part in the forming of perceptions is exposure. Constant and repeated access to stimuli which all present the same traits about a given entity will shape our perceptions of that entity. Once that shape has been set, it is difficult to alter. So what happens when perceptions are formed with only one set of information?

             The barrier to a mutual acceptance of all humanity is less a matter of difference than a matter of perception. As humankind, we have more things in common than we do differences, and among those differences, the majority are neutral in and of themselves. It is the people, with their individual or collective perception of those differences, that create conflict. Perceptions, for example, that some practices, traits, or behaviors are inherently evil, or perhaps perceptions that some practices, traits, or behaviors are superior while others are inferior. Essentially, such perceptions are inaccurate. It doesn’t end there, however. 

            As I mentioned, most attributes(really, anything that isn’t an aspect of character, and even that is debatable) have neither positive nor negative value until we as people decide such, and yet, so great is the power of perception that we find excuses for it. Excuses both to justify our perceptions(typically based upon the limited information that has shaped our perceptions) and to dismiss anything that runs contrary. Exceptions to the rule, certain conditions that altered the outcome or distorted the evidence, details that were ‘missed’. Anything to avoid admitting that the perception itself(our interpretation of the world, in whole or part) is wrong. So, in effect, not only are we misinformed or lacking relevant information, we are also insistent on remaining in such a state. But why?

            Put simply, no one likes being wrong. Being wrong can mean feeling guilty. It may require an apology. It may be cause for receiving retribution or giving reparation. It may even require a change. See, being wrong(being PERCIEVED as wrong, for that matter) calls a person into question, not just in regard to the matter at hand, but as a whole. Think of the negative stigma that comes with being wrong- the demonization and discrediting, especially in terms of public image. Think celebrities, think politics. Everything is a scandal. Even ‘a little’ wrong is a serious offense. At the very least, if we’re wrong and we don’t know it, we can fall back on the excuse of ignorance- no harm, no foul, no need to change.

            So we have faulty, limited perceptions. We have no desire to rectify this. Why is this such a big deal? People have opinions. The problem comes when people’s perceptions lead them to act in ways that cause problems for others. Serious problems. Faulty perceptions include the association of completely unrelated qualities to one another. This can cause misunderstandings, strife and resentment. This ascribing of qualities may lead people to dismiss others entirely, dehumanize them. Once that happens, it is far easier to justify any mistreatment they receive without any sort of moral backlash on the part of the perpetrators. If people are hunted, hurt, or ignored for their differences, a mutual understanding becomes impossible. After all, those who are (incorrectly)perceived in a certain manner cannot change that perception, and those who possess that interpretation have no interest in rectifying it.

            In short, inaccurate perception stands in the way of people coming together in tolerance, let alone acceptance.

            What can we do about it? It starts with rethinking our perceptions. It starts when we do not label inherently neutral things as good or evil.What do we believe of those who are different from us? Why do we believe those things? Do we have enough information? Do we have the right information? There will always be more questions than answers, but that’s no excuse not to ask. We need to recognize as people that our perceptions may associate things, positive or negative, that have no correlation, or at least a hidden correlation that has not been considered. Perhaps we will be led to ignore actual cause and effect relationships- whatever is convenient for our view. Regardless—

            Above all else, when it comes to people, we are all individuals; by definition, we defy classification. And that’s okay.

What Acceptance Looks Like

Recently, I had the opportunity to take part in Holi, the festival of color.  For those unfamiliar:

http://www.holifestival.org

http://www.religionfacts.com/hinduism/holidays/holi

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holi

Going in, I was not sure what to expect; I arrived late, and waited on the outskirts to observe what I could before getting involved. From a distance, it was intimidating. Large crowds of people watching, another crowd participating before the live bands that played, and the dancers that performed.

I’ve been to places before- ‘welcoming’ places that were not, in fact, welcoming. Doors thrown wide open, only to have wary eyes follow newcomers and an absence of regulars to engage them willingly. What then, would one expect from a gathering where everyone was a stranger?

I approached the center and joined in the festivities. Holi is referred to as the festival of color (among other things) because of the pelting and spreading of various colors of powder over participants. This alone is something many might see as a breach of dignified behavior, as it involves the minimization of personal space, and the courtesy of avoiding physical contact- to perform such actions in any other context with strangers, quite frankly, is rude. 

As soon as I had moved within the color zone, people began tossing powder on me. Minutes in, I had been colored and recolored; layers of color that covered other layers- brilliant pinks and greens and oranges.  At some point between bands, a gentleman came on to explain more about the festival. He spoke of people coming together, of celebration and giving thanks- of ignoring differences. He mentioned something about penetrating color(race) as an example, and it resonated with me. We as people assign ourselves and others into groups based on color(race) or appearance, or mannerism, or other indicators. The color throw, which had left everyone covered in crazy color combinations, had effectively eliminated any difference  in hue, shade, and (by appearances)race- we all looked more or less the same, covered in various patterns of the same wildly clashing colors.

To me, it suggested that the taking away of arbitrary differences led to an increased togetherness, a unity, an acceptance. Sure, one might argue that it was acceptance only because we were a group, either in our multicolor ‘skin’, or as people who would attend such an event in the first place.

I would argue that it was not a matter of bringing like-minded people together so much as penetrating the trivial differences erected by circumstance or choice. I would argue that it is about illuminating the commonality that is already there, that has always been there since the birth of mankind. Perhaps then, we were a group of people representing the true desires and feeling and yearning of humanity(enjoying life, having fun, belonging), without all the pretense.

On that day, I held hands with people I didn’t know. I danced with complete strangers. I hugged people I haven’t met- during, nor after. Perhaps I’ll never see them again.  I don’t know anything about anybody- not their names, nor where they were from, what they did for work or leisure, which God they believed in, who they loved. I knew nothing of those present aside from the fact that for some reason, on that particular day, they happened to find themselves at the same festival. And they accepted me. And I accepted them.

This is the kind of world we can live in.