Outside the comfort zone

Principle- Learning the ways of others.
We're all human, and that gives us an inherent number of similarities. But there are also many factors among us that vary, and therefore pave the way for any number of differences. When it comes to viewing others, if we do so in a negative light, more often than not it is in part because of a lack of understanding. Whether it is a complete lack of understanding, such as being introduced to an entirely new culture/religious belief/whatever, or a misconception caused by a bad experience or biased account of another individual, there tend to be things we do not understand about what we do not like.
If we're going to dislike something, it is best to understand why we come to feel that way. This is where the comfort zone comes in. Generally, mannerisms are found unappealing to a given individual because they are outside the normal perspective of said individual. In effect,

"I don't like x because I had a bad experience with it/my friend told me it is bad/ because I think it works this way, and I don't like that(but I don't realize it doesn't work the way I think it does), and on top of that, it is something I'd never ever do or say or believe because it's not who I am."

The purpose of this post is to encourage readers to lay such statements aside, to ask questions instead of making declarations. From one's perspective, activity/idea 'X' is unappealing, but what do we really know about it? It never hurts to learn more about what we don't understand, especially if we are focused on avoiding or condemning it based on our limited understanding. Why not get to know people who engage in X(in a polite and non confrontational manner)? Why not observe the activities, ask the questions and try to get an insider's perspective? If the activity or ideal is popular even among a small population, there must be something about it that makes sense.

Guidelines-
-Keep an open mind:Always be open to knowledge. Keeping an open mind doesn't mean that one has to adopt what they witness, but to merely witness without bias.
-Be ready to feel awkward and uncomfortable: Learning about or participating in something one does not understand or enjoy isn't guaranteed to be fun. Part of growing is moving beyond what one is familiar with, and learning about things one does not appreciate falls in well here. Don't let feelings of discomfort stop you from connecting with others.

Principle: A need for self change.

Principle- Self change for Acceptance.

As human beings we must change to make improvement possible. Some changes are smaller than others, but are changes nonetheless. Just as with other improvements, Acceptance Theory or accepting and understanding individuals in spite of differences, requires a change.

The idea here is that certain mindsets are open to acceptance and understanding; we all understand some things, and we all accept some things, but most of us have areas where we cannot or will not accept(or bother to understand) certain things, be they individuals or ideals. We must change our mindsets to allow consideration of concepts normally beyond our comfort zones.

Guidelines-
-Keep an open mind: Realize there are things one does not understand.
-Consider your prejudices(And generally, disregard them): Why do you have them? How much stock can truly be placed in them? Are they reasonable at all?
-Recognize the limitations of past experiences: Understand that those experiences may have some relevance, but also weigh the circumstances- do not assume the past is also the future.



By keeping an open mind, one is less likely to shut out automatically what they do not recognize or understand. By re-evaluating prejudices(and in the same vein, stereotypes) a person can learn just how well founded such things are, and discover many are baseless or too inaccurate to draw lasting conclusions. By realizing the past scenarios may be similar, yet not the same, one concedes that the future is not completely determined, that bad experiences do not necessarily cement evidence toward rejecting a person completely or immediately.

Restructuring

This Acceptance Theory of mine is something that I've been thinking on for a while, and, much like my own thought, is focused in chains but does not necessarily connect as well as I'd like it to, especially when being transferred to a medium that can be shared with others. In dealing with others, there has been a misunderstanding of my intentions, and part of that may have come from my own inability to communicate effectively among other things.


For the time being I will keep the previous posts as is, but as I am still thinking on this subject and my ideas are expanding, I hope to reorganize the current concepts in a fitting order even as I introduce more. I will say however that to think of such concepts in list format is somewhat limiting, given they are interconnected, but do not necessarily follow an A to B route- it might be easier(or more applicable) to take the 'steps' out of order or rule out some entirely given certain situations.

In summary: The order of concepts is not final and will change as I flesh things out. Be patient and understand that the concepts matter more than any particular path through them.

Edit: I will likely explain each concept as a Principle/Guideline/Rule format, Basically a foundation with tiered detailing.

The key major principle is Acceptance obviously, with smaller principles which might be considered guidelines to acceptance but principles in their own right, with rules of their own. Hopefully I will manage to make it detailed and understandable and not needlessly complex.

Second Law of Acceptance

Inevitability.
According to Dictionary.com:

 

Adjective-

1)Unable to be avoided, evaded, or escaped; certain; necessary: an inevitable conclusion.

2)Sure to occur, happen, or come; unalterable: The inevitable end of human life is death.

 
Noun-
1)That which is unavoidable.

Accept that some things are inevitable. This is not to say one should throw up their hands and write off everything as inevitable, but rather realize that some things are easy to change, others are possible, some are difficult, and some are inevitable, at least temporarily. Recognize what cannot be changed and try not to waste time or energy worrying over such things. In regards to people and acceptance, realize that some aspects of people are inevitable, and in order to accept them, these unmovable aspects must also be accepted.

Guideline 2-Preconceived notions, shallow judgements.

We all have them. Some much more subtle than others, some are more critical or encompass a wider range of individuals. Regardless of what kind of person you are, certain thoughts(good or bad, right or wrong) come to mind just seeing another person, and opinions are formed. People claim they don't judge others, and ask not to be judged(or state the ever popular "Only God Can Judge me") but the reality is, the mind has already drawn conclusions about a person upon observation, let alone the first encounter, and continues to do so with every word and action observed, or even relayed by another individual.

 These however, don't need to be final. The suggestion here is 'Realize the existence of initial judgments, but weigh them carefully'. In other words, don't make any permanent decisions about a person's character based entirely off of a first encounter or second hand account. This is actually something I am working to overcome; as of now, I am relatively quick to notice the unfavorable qualities of those around me, and thus reluctant to admit to their redeeming qualities.

 In short: Understand that first judgments are not final judgments. Give people an appropriate chance to present their own character; and then take note of all qualities as opposed to only those you prefer or despise.

Guideline 1-Understanding

Find common ground.

I think the first thing one needs to keep in mind when seeking to understand others is the fact that there are always, always similarities. We are all human. That means we follow the same genetic blueprints with only the slightest variations on specific details. Hair color, eye color, skin tones, facial features, hair variation... These and more may differ, yet we all are designed to function with the same set of organs- a heart, two lungs, kidneys, etc.
 We're all intended to have two arms, with five fingers a hand, two legs, each with five toes.

 With physical makeup alone, we already share much in common. Isn't that reason enough to not immediately disregard or even despise one another?

Understanding(up for revision)

Understanding is something that, in my opinion goes hand in hand with acceptance- if you understand something or someone well, you're more likely to make an informed decision, which, in hope of the general theme of this blog, would be acceptance. Understanding gives us the power to reason when we make our choices, Instead of a choice based entirely on a preconceived notion or one bad experience, or even a first impression.
Eventually I'll be posting a series of rules of understanding(rather, a how-to guide) alongside my laws of acceptance, given they work quite well together.