Shame

                I’ve spoken about identity before, and pressure and perception, and choices, and change. Who we are, how we see, how we act(which depends on how we see and determines who we are). These things make for the possibility of change- or they do not. On matters of choice and change, I mentioned that change is hard; that oftentimes we as people take the path of least resistance(least pressure), so in order to change, one’s state of existence(again, the amount of pressure) must become more unbearable than the alternative.
                Pressure influences our desire and effort to change, be they pressures of the discomforting  nature explained above, or perhaps the promise of something greater. A reward for good behavior, rather than an ultimatum. Sometimes it is merely a matter of whims or discovery. However, the pressures that encourage change may also dissuade it. Shame, for instance, is a powerful force in influencing the actions of individuals and groups.
                Returning to identity: We are all complex beings, combinations of various details that others often perceive individually, but fail to piece together. A lot of these details we are born with, and some of these we simply cannot change, and as such, we may become firmly rooted in them, because quite literally, they define what we are. Thinking about that in conjunction with connection, a desire that most people have to some extent, sheds some light on how shame can make or break change, connection, and identity.
                Put simply, shame is an attack on identity. Shame is directly harmful to our identity, because it prevents us from exploring and experiencing and enjoying who we are. Instead, we are forced into a mold of who we ‘should be’… but who decides that? As a shaming culture, we have been led to feed on those who appear different, weaker. We are taught to ignore the suffering of others. The truth is, what is ideal to some is not so for others, and situations of enforcing that ‘should be’ means only that the ‘should-self’ destroys the ‘ideal-self’.

                But why shame others?

                It depends. For the sake of connection, protection, belonging, ‘unity’. In regards to connection, I have spoken of the pains taken to belong, betrayals of the self in order to avoid being ostracized(shamed). This may include shaming others. On one hand, an act taken to fit in. On the other, a redirection or reflection away from qualities that would also/instead be shamed by the group. For such reasons, people may feel the need to ridicule others, badger them, insult them, and tear them down for their differences.
                 In truth, such mockery is its own kind of violence, because it is the first step in distancing and othering that allows one to inflict atrocities upon another, or to further ridicule,  simply observe, or turn  away when terrible things to befall a separate entity.  When calamity occurs, the first  person scrutinized is the victim, to see if they have done(or not done) some particular behavior which therefore justifies whatever ill they receive(regardless of the legality).
                Furthermore, shame is harmful because it fosters division, rather than connection. It singles a person out for who they are, or their behavior, and ridicules them. This prevents connection with other groups who might otherwise participate in the shamed behavior, as the person seeking to explore or understand may become self-conscious, and ostracized for their interest. At the same time, the ostracized person cannot really connect with those among their own group either, due to being shamed by them. They are ‘stained’ in the eyes of their community, and shunned, and may even harbor resentment against those who shamed them- a bridge burnt at both ends.

                There are other situations. When dealing with shame, one must ask if the disapproval is directed toward the individual or the incident of behavior; in the case of the well-meaning, there is an objection to the action, rather than the person who performed it- this capacity to separate people from actions, traits from choices, is what allows for connection. Attacking a person for possessing one particular trait does only harm.
                Even then, the behavior must be examined- is it harmful, or just different? Does it pose a threat, or is it simply unfamiliar? What is REALLY at stake if it persists? Definition? Destruction? As I have said, the majority of traits, the things that in their combinations create differences between people and groups—these are neutral things, and should be regarded as points of interest. But what about the truly, undeniably destructive?
                Even assuming such is proven, then there is still the matter of the approach. Honest discussion and instruction will go further than an emotional attack. If one truly seeks to build a stronger, better person by steering them away from harmful practice, then one should actually build, rather than tear down. Fortunately, people are realizing this, and as that happens, behaviors once criticized are beginning to be seen in a more neutral, or positive light. Still, there’s a lot of ground to cover in that regard.
               

Art, Identity, Connection

                 It’s easy to forget about ourselves in the world. We think of ourselves only in regard to our ‘usefulness’, and we measure that by employment, efficiency, functionality; put simply, means of generating money. This does not define us as thoroughly as we often believe, and it leaves a part of our being starving. As sentient, unique creatures, we have a need for expression, as it is inseparably a piece of our identity. Expressing ourselves whether it is in the creation or partaking of art therefore reconnects us to that part of ourselves, and such allows us to perform better even according to the rigid ‘usefulness’ that rules society today.

                Art. Creative expression. Ideas, beliefs, emotions given tangible form in a manner that allows them to be shared with others. Art can be a record, keeping track of what has happened in the past, what is happening now, and recording what may occur in the future. Art is interpretation, giving shape to the shapeless, and space to the unknown— defining, at least in part, that which is difficult to understand. Art is a form of connection, connecting us to ourselves and to others, bringing people and communities together, and linking us through time, joining us with our past, our roots. It connects us to the realities of others as well, depicting the situations of those we may not know, or may not understand as well as we think we do. In effect, art gives voice where perhaps otherwise, one would have no voice at all.

                Using colors, motions, emotions, situations, words, worlds both natural and unnatural, art allows us to display feelings and even evoke feelings in others- to inspire thought and change. It reveals thoughts that might not naturally occur to the observer, the listener, but may be commonplace for the creator, the performer. In a sense, art can serve as a translation, giving the connector and the connected a common tongue through which to communicate things spoken and non. This is perhaps the most beautiful thing about art- it takes on so many forms, intentionally and otherwise, communicates so many messages, intentionally or otherwise, and through these, connects people with others, sometimes others they did not expect to identify with or relate to. Art takes advantage of perception, our individual, flawed, and limited perspectives of this world we share, and therefore infinitely adapts itself to convey meanings and messages the creator may not have even visualized themselves.

                This ability to convey messages allows for enlightenment. Speaking specifically of the messages unseen, the creator, in connecting with themselves, may realize something about themselves that they never knew, some unconscious part of them. Likewise, in conveying these hidden messages to others, a creator may inspire something in their audience that provides feedback. This is connection. Connection allows us the opportunity to understand each other, to learn and to grow, to work together and pursue peace and happiness. Art, by triggering feelings we all have access to, may help us to see, at least in part, the realities of others, and compare that to our own; likewise, it may do the same for these others- and in doing so, perhaps allow us some middle ground.

                For individuals, art may provide a release of pent up feelings, an escape from things that might otherwise overwhelm. It may foster a sense of identity and personal understanding, allow one to realize their talents and relax.

                For groups, art can help to define a culture, a history, and important lessons- what is done and why it is done, what it represents for the group, the tribe, the village as a whole. It allows them to explore and understand both their similarities and their differences through the way individual techniques are personalized- the same strategies, modified differently by different members of the same tribe in order to display a uniqueness without separation or judgment(ideally). If a group can realize such among themselves, then perhaps they can do the same with other groups, who perform their own art, traditions, culture, and yet hold similarities somewhere.

                Like I’ve said, it’s easy to forget the importance of art, for it is seen through the eyes of profit- but the truth is it helps us grow in all ways, and for that, it is priceless. Art teaches us creation and connection, and it is through these that we move forward.

Of Quotes and Context

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." – Martin Luther King Jr.

                The above is perhaps Dr. King’s most well-known quote, summing up the pursuit of equality in an unequal nation. The sentiment it communicates is something I firmly believe in. It is, in a nutshell, the sort of end that Acceptance Theory seeks: judgment only on who one is(character, behavior, treatment of and respect for others) rather than what one is(their background, their circumstances, heritage).
                It goes without saying that I believe in the power of communication. Communication allows individuals and groups to make clear their needs, preferences, desires, dislikes, hopes, fears, and dreams. It allows people to piece these things together and find common ground with one another.  While most people think first and foremost of words when they think of communication, the truth is that it comes in many forms. Most actions, expressions, and displays convey some message, sentiment, belief, or behavior; words streamline this process. They make it more precise. If one is looking to reach understanding, they must communicate, and if that communication is to be successful, specific expressions, verbal and nonverbal, must be exchanged.
                I believe that Dr. King was trying to communicate a message to all people about the importance of equality and the reality of injustice. In his time inequality, hatred, and discrimination were far more apparent than they are today. Unfortunately, in modern times, some people feel this message is irrelevant. Some feel that equality has been achieved. Others interpret it differently; they believe that inequality remains, but who is treated fairly(or better than) and who is not has changed. In the minds of this latter group, King’s message has taken on a whole new meaning.

                 As I have said, words make communication easier, but taking words in isolation, particularly words that are taken to represent the whole of as person or a group of people, is detrimental to truth and understanding.  We as people must do better to truly understand and represent others. It is not enough to label someone because of one blessing or damning line. We must move beyond that. We need to look to the situations in which such words are spoken, and we must also consider the actions of those who are speaking, and how they correlate to what has been said. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. didn't just speak of the world he believed in, he dedicated his life to it, treating others with kindness and compassion regardless of their background, and seeing even those arrayed against him as brothers and sisters.
              Put simply, the 'what' and the words are not enough. The 'why' and the actions matter too.  Anything less serves only to warp the narrative, to intentionally or otherwise disregard the full experiences and ideals of a given individual.

A Thought on War

In passing, I overheard a conversation regarding the economy in its present state, and a distaste for it. The primary stipulation essentially amounted to the idea that the U.S. missed out on financial opportunities by failing to turn Desert Storm into a ‘real war’.

I imagine it’s an idea that makes sense from an economic perspective. The circumstance of continued warfare generates jobs in a number of fields. It spurs the development of new technology, which can then be sold, to say nothing of tinkering with the applications to develop related technologies. It grants control and access to raw materials.

It’s easy to think of war as a convenient and profitable endeavor when one is far removed from the front lines. When one does not think about what(and more importantly, who) is involved in waging a war.

I’d argue that the mindset that views wars as a viable means of profit is the same on a grander scale, as that the average person employs to casually disregard his neighbor. There is the same magnification of what one deems important, and the mitigation of less pleasant or useful ramifications. The massive potential for profit weighs more than concerns for the safety of those involved. Just as people see others around them as whatever they find useful/despicable. To be avoided or sought out, harassed or praised, and such things too often have nothing to do with the character of the target.

In a case like this, money is valued more than the lives of enemies. One may make the point that defeating enemies is less about financial gains and more about self defense- but what of when the wars never cease? And what if there are better ways to stymie the conflict, to prevent the need for violence, offensively and defensively?

The best war is the sort that never occurs at all, but in the event that one must occur, then one of brevity with minimum casualties should make the most sense. The day that we let profit stand in front of peace is the day where we announce that life isn’t as precious as currency, especially some lives in particular, and from there, that differences are reason enough to kill and die for.

War is, in essence, the endgame. What happens when the pendulum of acceptance swings the other way, past tolerance, past intolerance, into refusal, denial, extermination. We don’t have to go there. We don’t need to go there. But we do.

Connection

            White noise. The distractions generated by endless information, clouded by strong emotions or beliefs, both ours, and that of the other.

            At a glance it seems impossible to reconcile(for how can one reconcile the barrage of charged, incongruous information?). A lot of people are comfortable with that. It’s easy to say “that person/group is ‘crazy/backwards/evil/wrong’ and they are the ones who need to change”. As I’ve stated before, change is hard. There likely will always be some level of noise swirling around the world, generated by misunderstandings and perpetuated by paranoia, overreaction. In this era of strife, tension, and terrorism, curiosity becomes replaced by fear, and the unknown is no longer an opportunity to connect or discover, but rather a threat to be avoided, or destroyed.
            It’s important to examine these things. Honestly, as living, growing, evolving beings, we should always reassess the things that make us who we are. The things that make ‘people’. This examination holds true for both the self and the other, for we may come to realize things in ourselves should be rethought, refined. Likewise, we may discover admirable qualities in others, or things about these others inconsistent with what we have previously associated with them.
            This examination is a first and crucial step. Connection is dependent upon growth, and growth is dependent on understanding(conscious or unconscious). However, even when complete understanding (or agreement) cannot be reached, it is important to recognize the effort for such.

            Part of the reason that people are quick to accept thoughts and beliefs of questionable truth is the desire to connect. For the sake of belonging, it can be easy to acknowledge something that does not quite sit right with the soul, or to take in something without studying or questioning it. This allows one to avoid conflicts in the short term with those they desire to bond with. It’s matters of mitigation and magnification all over again.
            To facilitate healthy connections with others, we must find ways to deconstruct misunderstandings without deconstructing the people who harbor them. It does no good to castigate- a hardened heart will not change. Growth is a difficult enough process on its own, even without harsh words. Encouragement and support are key. We need to recognize others’ efforts to connect with us, even if there remains some level of disagreement, even if their understanding is incomplete, incorrect. Remember, they are people, as are we, and we too may be incomplete, incorrect, in our understanding.
            We can still come together with others who do not think exactly as we do- this goes for both the different, and the misinformed. What matters most is that we keep trying, in earnest, and encourage others to do the same. Sometimes, when people reach out, even in earnest, they mess up. Sometimes they falter. Sometimes they don’t even realize that the things they believe are inaccurate, or untrue. We need to guide them. To open the minds of others, we, with open minds, need to reach out to them.

            And when we do, those who truly wish to connect will come around.